This
morning, I heard an extreme case.
In
a recent magazine survey, nearly 20% of women in relationships said that they
were jealous. Even without proof or
provocation,
women thought that their spouses would cheat. Jealousy is what brought today's
couple in to see me.
[music]
Divorce
Court is now in session.
I'
m
here today with Christopher Sanders and Angel Henry. Um, you two have been
together for a year and a half. I'm not quite sure what we're doing here today.
So,
hopefully one of you two understands your relationship well enough to explain
it to me. Uh, but I will start with you, Mr. Sanders. Why don't you tell me
what's
going on with Miss Henry and why you're here in divorce court today?
Uh,
first of all, it's jealousy that me and Miss Henry have. You know, we've been
together and I've never showed her anything. I've never done anything
wrong,
but it's just she has a jealous streak that's out of control and it's really
tearing really straining to us.
Mr.
Sanders, you're married, right?
Yeah,
but I'm in and be divorced next month. You'll be divorced next month?
Finally,
next finally be finally finally. Now, are you trying to get rid of both women
at once? No. No.
We
going to get rid of Miss Henry as well or what? What are we doing? I'm I'm
trying to be with Miss Henry.
Miss
Henry means the world to me. That's my best friend.
So,
you here for help? Y'all here for help. All right. I'm not here to I'm just
here for help.
No,
just I just need to know what's what I'm what's expect.
Okay.
All right. Now, but you say that she's extraordinarily jealous.
Yes.
Because I mean, Miss Henry, I know she has a past exes that she done been
through cuz I I I've seen some of it.
So,
I understand what she come on some of the things. But by me showing her that
I've not that person, I feel that
she
should be able to at least give me some slack. and not be so jealous. Miss Miss
Henry, are you very jealous?
Your
honor, Mr.
I
call him Patrick. Um I think he gives me reasons to not trust him. Um he's
always Give me the top three. Top three things
he's
done that you say make him untrustworthy.
Well,
the top three would be number one, delete too.
Deleting
things out of his phone, you know, for memory, you know, to keep his phone from
going so slow. So, he deletes calls in Texas, text messages from, you
know,
baby mothers and stuff. He has three baby mothers. So, you know, it's like I'm
sharing him with three other
women.
Um, not only that, um, Patrick likes to watch big booty porn, you know.
Um,
object.
No,
no, no, no, no, no, no. Big booty porn.
I
have proof. I have came in from lunch and you know I hit the back button on the
internet browser and found that he
watches
like the super booty butts like the I mean the super [laughter] you know like
the butt
injections
you know how yeah where just it's yeah small frame so I don't very
disproportionate it's very disproportionate you know I
don't
have that you know do you like disproportionate behind it was just it was a
yarn it was it was a video it's a site I watch videos
on.
You know how they be dancing on the videos and stuff. So, it was no porn and
was they turking and all that jiggling going on in the back.
I
can't swerve. I can't swerve.
I
don't I don't I don't I don't want to be an alarmist of any or anything, but
when you got regular people
spending
their time putting their booty out, injecting it full of silicon, and jiggling
it on the tube, we're in trouble.
Yeah.
as a people. I just I think that's a little frightening and they wouldn't do it
if you wouldn't watch, but I'm just saying. [laughter]
So,
he deletes his phone. He watches big booty porn. And what is the third of the
top three things he does that makes you jealous?
You
know, just having three kids, mothers, you know. I'm not really that he's a
traveler. You've traveled from woman to woman. And with each woman, you've left
a life.
I
was a traveler.
You've
been traveling. You can't have three babies. mamas and not be a traveler. Do
you understand what I'm saying?
You've
got three different women who are looking to you as primary support for their
kids, you know. So, you have traveled.
I
guess you can say it like that. Oh, yeah. You've traveled.
Yes.
And we have no kids together, you know. You have what?
We
have no kids together, you know. So that makes me feel, you know, a little bit
inadequate, you know, that I'm not I don't have that bond with him like, you
know, his
Please
let me let me let me let me clear up that confusion for you right there.
Yeah.
Children aren't a bond, okay?
Children
are a lifetime requirement and there and there's something that you do after a
great deal
of
reflection and commitment and it's not something to keep a guy or to keep
connected to a guy. The best thing you can do is not have a baby with this man
because
he's already got a lot of babies out [applause] there. But know that he wants
another child. What?
He
would, you know, he wants another child, you know, but my son is like 19, so
I'm definitely Yeah, you do what you need to do. And you already know that he
travels. Do you
see
what I'm saying? You've got 18 months with him.
Any
everything's good. Anything can be fun for 18 months. But all I'm saying is to
you, don't put yourself in a position, well, I want to be like the others. I
want to have that bond with
them,
so I'm going to have a baby with him. I think a lot of women think that.
It
is the stupidest thing in the world because they end up stuck.
They
got this kid, this financial responsibility, and the man has traveled on. So,
so please don't think of it as that, you know, I don't have that
connection
with him. You don't have that that problem. [applause] Can you tell me some of
the things that
she
has done as a function of her jealousy that you have found over the top?
You
know, I don't think we had that much time. [laughter] Well, give me Well, I'll
do the same thing I did for her. Give me the top three.
My
phone. She has all access to my phone, right?
But
every time that phone rings or it makes any kind of sound, buzz, chirp,
whatever it is, she own it. Believe it.
She's
on it want to know who it is, who it ain't, and who it should be.
You
know what I'm saying? And you want to know who it is, who it ain't, and who it
shouldn't be.
I
do cuz I feel like it's not, you know, Patrick's thing is he needs privacy. And
I'm like, well, you don't have privacy in a relationship, you know, and if your
phone is ringing, No, you don't.
Whoa,
whoa, Henry, you don't have privacy in a relationship.
No,
not as far as your phone. [laughter] No, ma'am.
Now,
listen. How fun is it? How enjoyable is a life where a chirp, a buzz, or an
alarm put you in a state of
crisis
all day long because this phone can go off all day long. How much fun are you
having? How relaxed are you? Well, it's not. It's a job, you know?
It's
like that's my part-time job basically.
But
should that be a job? Is that the way you want to live?
No,
it's not. But if he would just not delete things, I wouldn't have to do that.
But
he deletes stuff. So, what do you want him to hand over his phone at the end of
every day before he deletes
anything,
allow you to peruse what has occurred and then if everything is cool, then he
can delete it? This would make
you
all right? Well, yes. [laughter] I mean, not every day. I'm just saying like
cuz a couple of times, well, one
time
he deleted some messages he has sought to his one of his kids' mothers and when
I looked in the phone, it wasn't there. So that makes me thinkthat it's not
just conversation as far as with the kids or anything. It's something, you
know, more personal between them.
Has
he ever done anything, gone to see the mothers or done anything that would lead
you to believe he still has a relationship with any one of these women?
No.
No, he hasn't.
Why
are you thinking up trouble? Why are you looking for problems?
He's
got to talk to these women. There's nothing else he can do. He has to talk to
them. I know that's the problem.
How
can I cheat? I have a picture of her from here to here. Her right there. Can I
see you?
That's
her. How can I possibly cheat?
Well,
you keep your shirt on, but anyway. [laughter] Um, you know, exactly.
Divorce
[music] isn't easy. If you need help with your breakup, call toll-free at
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[music] or visit our website at
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[music]
Mr.
Sanders, you wrote something in your papers that just blew my mind. You said
something about when you're out walking or doing
something
that she wants you to put the phone out there so she can hear the ambient
noises in order to confirm your location. Please explain that to me.
See,
I work out three times a week.
Mondays,
Wednesdays, Fridays. ain't changed in two years, almost two years.
You
know, she wants me to call her when I go walking. But that's that's crazy
because and when I do call her, she wants to know where you at, where you
walking
to, and if she don't hear any traffic or something, if like a cars ain't coming
by or something, I don't believe you. Let me hear you walking.
Gosh,
I don't hear you walking.
Now,
Miss Henry, hey, do you make the man put his phone to your shoes and want to
hear his foot hit the pavement?
Stop
like I'm walking an army. I kind of do want him to march. Okay.
You
know, I [laughter] want him to Miss Henry.
Well,
that's not really Have you been hurt a lot? I have been through a whole lot. I
have.
You've
been hurt a lot in the past, haven't you? Yes, ma'am.
Do
you think that men are basically unable to commit? Do you think you have a bad
picker? You know what I mean?
You're
you don't pick the right ones. Do you think it's the community that you live in
is disassembled and everybody's running
around?
What do you think the problem is?
I
think that I have been too soft and I have let guys go get away with things in
the past. So now I'm like Patrick is not
getting
away with nothing. I mean nothing without me knowing about it. And I want to
know first before anything
happens.
Like I've been hurt a lot. So, I don't want to get to the point where something
major happens like he cheats on me or anything like that. I'm not I can't take
that anymore.
Let
me ask you this. Is the day today worrying about the fact that he might someday
cheat. Is that making your day to-day happy?
That
was stressful. You're not comfortable. You're not safe.
You're
not secure. You're spending all day every day. You You're making sure that
every day is miserable on the off chance that one day he might hurt you.
Yes.
So,
you're trading in a one-time bang for a constant throbbing.
How
much sense does that make to you?
Well,
hearing it now doesn't make a lot of sense at all. And can I say something?
How
can I cheat? Y I have a picture of her from here to here of her. Her right
there. Can I see it?
I
think right there. That's her. How can I possibly cheat?
Where
you keep your shirt on? But anyway, [laughter] um, you know, exactly. Women
don't care about that.
No,
no, no, they don't. Women don't care about relationship.
The
free radical women don't care about that. There are women out there who will
just, you know, whatever. And they'll hook them up and they don't care.
Exactly.
We can be right here together and a woman and still try to holler at that.
But
me doing that was to let her know that she I'm hers. I don't want nobody else.
I want her.
You
know, even though he has been a traveler in his past, that's kind of the thing
like uh youthful criminology, youthful crime. People age out of that
stuff
that you did at 19, you don't do at 40 anymore. And I think traveling is like
that. You know what I mean? They don't have the energy for it. And they they've
traveled and
they've
been out there and they want to sit down somewhere. And it's nice if you're the
woman he wants to sit down
with.
And I think that might be the case here. [music] Do you see what I'm saying?
You looking good is secondary to your children
having
an opportunity to future. And you already got how many? Five.
Five.
Oh, I'm going broke paying. [laughter] And I got a good job.
If
[music] you would like your case to be heard on divorce court, call us
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Mrs.
Henry, you also have concerns with respect to Mr. Sanders approach to money.
Why don't you tell me the nature of those concerns? Oh my gosh, this man
spends
so much money on sneakers and name brand shirts. Um, and I'm still sitting up
here with a bare finger. I
mean,
it just doesn't make any sense. I mean, he buys me rings, but my left hand is
still baref. My ring finger is empty.
So,
you want to get married? You want him to make a commitment? You know, he's
still married now. You can't he can't do much now.
Well,
if he would have been had his divorce like I've been trying to and pushing
towards. Do you believe that he's actually pursuing the divorce actively?
She
knows that.
Well,
now because it's I mean the divorce is getting ready to be finalized, but but
he but he's there now. But he's there now. And what you want now is a ring on
your finger and a commitment.
Yes.
Start saving money or he should have been saved. He should have been had my
ring to me. Well, let me ask you this, Mr. Sanders.
What
is your relationship with money? Do you do you spend it as fast as you get it
or I mean it's like this, you know, men clothes cost more than female clothing.
She
buys clothes. I can I go buy a shirt. You got that wrong. Yeah. I'm telling
you.
Now,
I don't went with her. I went with her and she bought my outfits what I pair a
shirt for. You know what I'm saying?
Well,
it's not that men's clothes are more expensive. You might your taste might be
more expensive than hers.
But
for a blouse, you know, women can pay $600, $700 for a blouse. You depending on
what store you going to.
So,
but anyway, go ahead. Tell me about your relationship with money.
Well,
I might I might spend it. I mean, I do buy spending on clothes and stuff like
that cuz I like clothes, but that's all I spend it on. You know what I'm
saying? But all the bills is paid.
You
got How many kids?
They
get close, too. I mean, that's for as far as for me.
Do
you have any money in the bank? Like at the end of the month, you look in the
bank, it's nothing but zeros looking back at you sometimes. Big old. You know,
those kids
are
going to have they got they're going to have needs and soccer and and baseball
and you know, everybody, you know, people on Twitter talking about
you
old because I talk about stuff like baseball and soccer and football and kids
and basketball and going to violin lessons
and
piano because apparently that is antiquated and nobody does that anymore.
That's why your kids don't turn out to be nothing is cuz they ain't got
nothing
going on. They're going to school. They're coming home doing video games. You
not working them. You not keeping them engaged. They're not busy.
They
out there doing whatever. And all of that engagement, all that business costs
money. You got to buy uniforms and and all that kind of stuff. Or
are
you do are you taking care of your business?
Yeah,
I am. Yeah. I'm very much in my kids life. I do what I could do for my kids.
But I'm saying economically. Yeah. You know, economically, too.
I'm
You know, I'm paying tuition. Yeah. I ain't got that yet. You know what I'm
saying?
Yeah.
I feel you. I understand. And you know it's going to come. I mean you hope it's
going to come. If it doesn't come cuz do you see what I'm saying? You looking
good
is secondary to your children have an opportunity to future and you already got
how many? Five. Five.
I'm
going broke paying [laughter] and I got a good job. I understand what you're
saying.
You
understand what I'm saying? I mean and I think it's not just you.
We're
in a consumer society where you purchase and you play but you don't concentrate
on a future. You know the other countries over there, India and
China,
they got people who are hungry middle I mean they working hard, you know,
working at night and all this kind of stuff and all we were we're online buying
really nice shirts.
Yeah,
I say that all the time. We can't just look rich, you know. We got to actually
have some money. It doesn't it's just, you know, he just likes bling, you know.
I
mean, he bought [clears throat] all of this, you know. I don't have to have all
of this. Well, I have to have my money.
You
can live around yourself. You can look around your house in your garage and at
your woman and you can see all your money. You're doing it wrong. The only
people that need to be impressed with the money you have are the people in the
bank that you keep it in.
Everybody
else should think you're broke. Exactly.
Cuz
otherwise they'll ask you for something.
Thank
you. [laughter]
[applause]
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You
know, everybody has something to say about love. What's on your mind?
You
know, when I read you people's documentation, I thought you were a hot mess and
I wrote a lot of rude comments that I were going to share with you about not
understanding what it is to be
in
a relationship and going from person to person and relationship and bed to bed
without thinking about the consequences of your action. I
choose,
however, not to say any of those things to you people because I actually like
you.
I
think that uh you're good people. I think you've made a few mistakes in the
past. Both of you mistakes about who you're with and why you're with them. I
think
you're both more grown now, more adult. Uh and I think you have an opportunity
to make it work, but you don't have an opportunity to make it
work
if you conduct your marriage outside your marriage. You can't do it on social
media. You can't do it at the mall. You can't do it over the phone.
You
can't secure or make a marriage solid by making sure that he can't reach out
and touch the rest of the world. You
make
a marriage secure by making him not want to reach out and touch the rest of the
world because the rest of the world is too easy to touch. Do you understand
what
I'm saying? Checking the phone doesn't make any difference. Checking social
media doesn't make any difference. Finding out where he is.
You've
got to be able to trust him because if you can't trust him, you can't live a
comfortable life. Yes. Do you understand what I'm saying? You got to let that
go. Let all that pain and
then
you trust and you love hard and you love well and he will love you in return
and that will give you what you need.
And
if you can't make and then as you do that you grow a life that has that is not
just about him but that has value
and
passion and large s outside of what you have on your fingers and on your body.
And when your mind is together and all that kind of stuff, it'll be more
comfortable.
Yes.
because you're more comfortable in who you are as a woman. Okay? And save your
money. You got too many kids to be
spending
money on nothing nice. I don't want to see you in anything name brand
[laughter] ever again. This matter is a
journ.
[applause]
[music]
Ladies
and gentlemen, whatever you do, don't let your past lovers dictate your current
relationship. [music] Once you move on, move on and let the other guy
or
the other girl prove themselves for themselves. Submit your case at
divorcecort.com.
https://youtu.be/DCyOrN6dQpw?si=8GnrvySkVLMfnxJr
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